Cold Weather Comforts

There's something incredibly comforting about homemade meals, familiar woods, and family. Having gone without my family for so long, it still strikes me sometimes how nice it is to be able to jump in a car and just go home. Of course, that home isn't the one I grew up in - but it is still the place that holds my old journals, my high school albums, and the detritus of the many lives I've already lived. Here's some of what I've been doing this weekend:

First, I've made unhealthy and glorious things.

Preparations for mac 'n cheese: (1) cut up insane amounts of cheese. 

(2) Create a cream-based sauce, and add more cheese to it.

(3) Forget that you're about to eat eight pounds' worth of cheese.

Holiday balls made from pages from Dante's Inferno. Surely it's okay to mix a fiery epic about the circles of hell with N'Sync's "Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday"?

Second, I've finally gone running and communed with some woods. I've had the opportunity, lately, to teach the work of some of my favorite tree huggers: specifically Emerson and Thoreau. As I ran through these woods by the Chesapeake, I kept hearing these words:

 

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion." 

- Thoreau (= awesome)

I've also been watching the 2010 movie version of Macbeth (again) and trying to figure out how to make the play more fun and intelligible. This is what happened when I broke out my felt tip:

Those are some high quality stick men in tartan.

I'm Writing To: "Lay Me Down", by The Oh Hello's

Thankfulness

When you're stressed and busy, it's easy to forget to be thankful. Being thankful requires that you pause for a moment and reflect on things, which I haven't had the time to do lately. It's been an incredibly hectic last few months for me. Still, as I take a breath and think back, I am fortunate enough to be thankful for many things:

I'm thankful for my family, who are more supportive and understanding than I could ever hope for.

I'm thankful for my new coworkers, many of whom have already become fast friends. My workplace wouldn't be nearly as wonderful without them. I'm thankful for my boss, who is one of the most supportive and lovely human beings I've ever met. I am fully aware of how rare and wonderful a thing that is.

I'm thankful for the chance to get to know my students and see into their hearts and minds. I'm thankful that, during my first out-of-state, weekend-long chaperoning trip, my students chose to sit in my room after dinner and have a three-hour conversation about life and faith and identity. That conversation filled me with such a sense of awe and happiness regarding what I get paid to do, and I'm grateful for that. I'm thankful for the fact that they trust me with their thoughts and welcome me into their lives so that I can become a part of watching them grow.

I'm thankful for my best friends who inspire and enrich my life. I'm thankful that even though some of my closest friends live far away, I am still able to be an authentic part of their lives. I'm especially thankful this year to Tori for being my partner in adventuring and for always, always, making me laugh.

I'm thankful that I am able to support myself without constant worry. I'm thankful to have a home and good food and good people around me. I'm grateful to be able to buy myself nice things sometimes (including the amazing new laptop on which I'm currently typing).

I'm thankful for my passions and my drive; for the fact that even when I am tired and depleted, those fires continue to burn.

I'm thankful for my cat, who forgives me for making him live at Mom's house!

Absense, and Wisdom

It appears as if I fell into a black hole from late June through to early September. I guess I did, in a way, but there were a lot of things going on in there. It was more of a Wonderlandesque rabbit hole than just a black one. Here are some of the more important items:

1. I moved into a new house in the city. I made the move during that weird summer storm that knocked out everyone's power; tumultuous weather seems to like to crop up when I'm making major life changes (at least it wasn't a flood this time...). I'm currently sitting at my new desk, surrounded by open windows, enjoying the sound of church bells and gospel wafting over from the church on the corner.

Mackie: the best dog in the history of the world.

2. I said goodbye to a beloved pet, Mack. Mom got him from the pound when I was maybe sixteen. I remember the day Mom brought him home. He was so excited to be out of the kennel that he spent the entire afternoon wearing a circle into our backyard. As with all good things, he could be a little high maintenance, but he was incredibly loyal and loving. When you looked into his eyes, you saw a human inside him. He was just one of those special dogs that felt more like family than anything else. When I moved back from Australia, our walks together through the woods was the only thing I derived any real pleasure from. He used to run ahead and look over his shoulder, smiling, wanting me to run with him. I miss him every day.

3. I had some incredible and unexpected adventures in new places. I spent a lot of time outdoors and in awe of the world. Here are some of those places:

4. I started a new job that continues to challenge and inspire me. I feel pretty privileged to be a teacher. And that I get to make vocabulary crowns. And that my students actually wear them.

5. I wrote the first draft of my third book - in four months. Yikes!

***

I recently had a few days off to celebrate Rosh Shoshanna. While I'm not Jewish, I enjoyed the opportunity to reflect on all of the things that've happened this year. To think about the things I've learned, and the things I'm looking forward to. It was nice to take a breath and appreciate how far I've come. Here are some pieces of random wisdom that popped up during my reflections:

1. Don't feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. There will always be something you need to do - work, school, bills, whatever. Enjoying an afternoon doing something you love can be just as important as getting 'stuff' done. Sometimes even more so.
2. Using buttermilk in baked goods is always a good idea. It makes them fluffier and less likely to be dry.
3. Travel, travel, travel. Even if it's just a state away. Even if it's only an hour away.
4. When you're feeling uninspired, go outside. When you're feeling frustrated, go outside. Being outside and moving makes everything a little clearer.
5. It's good to have a hobby that's yours and that you can do no matter where you are or what's going on. Writing is that thing for me; doing it always makes me feel grounded within myself, and that's a valuable thing to carry with you.

6. Slow down long enough to crunch those shriveled leaves on your sidewalk, to take a picture of the sunrise before getting in your car, to smell your coffee as it's poured. Otherwise life is just a series of moments rushing by, rather than a series of memories.

7. Try putting cinnamon in your coffee. Try putting Aleppo pepper in...everything.
8. Take the time to write people thank you cards. Not just the big thank you's, but the little ones. Thank people for being encouraging, or for doing the deeds that usually go unnoticed and unremarked upon. You wouldn't believe what an impact it can have.
9. Never miss the opportunity to go for a swim in natural bodies of water - regardless of whether you brought a bathing suit.
10. Unplug yourself from time to time. Step away from your iPhone and listen to the rhythm of the world as it breathes.

Currently writing to: Mumford & Sons - "I Will Wait"